Our neighborhood doesn’t have fences for the most part (it helps the deer roam freely without clipping a heel on the chain-link), and we all live on a half-acre lot or more. Zen Buddhism is a sect of Mahayana Buddhism that emphasizes meditation and personal insight with a focus on benefitting others, impermanence, not-self, dis-ease. He only does this when he is in a high chair or car seat. I’m not going to knock mindfulness. The company was accused of being in violation of the UN Declaration on th… A: I think you should listen to your husband and to the part of yourself that doesn’t want to choose your child’s name based on what strangers might think of her someday. Gender appropriation, unlike cultural appropriation, is entirely permissible and even encouraged in the same liberal circles that berate caucasian girls … It may help to remind yourself that you don’t have to “accept” your stepsister’s decision in the sense of liking it or feeling good about it. For instance, Whole Foods used to sell these Lesser Evil chips. It is stupid. Q. What cultural appropriation is The name is a bit of a mouthful, but cultural appropriation happens when a dominant culture takes things from another culture that is experiencing oppression. He seems convinced that he’s going to get a job and move back soon without any trouble. The others are surnames so seem a bit odd. We’re going to get back to [dinner/our conversation/stargazing], so I can’t keep catching up, but have a great rest of the evening.” You don’t need a fence to politely end a conversation, and it’s not rude or hurtful to end a conversation with your neighbor, no matter what his relationship with his wife is like. Kim Tran is a Contributing Writer for Everyday Feminism. I’ve tried to make my case to him directly to no avail. So yes, if he doesn’t say good night when the letter writer says, “Well, we’ve got to get back to stargazing,” then he’ll still have to follow it up with something firmer. Because racial justice is an integral part of a Buddhism. Commiseration? Oftentimes, the mere mention of the term triggers instant outrage and vitriol from both ends of the argument — some claiming its legitimacy and … The cultural appropriation police answer the yoga and banh mi objections with a familiar counter-argument: it’s about power. Tell him what you want, and listen to what he has to say in response. The fashion world especially seems to have a knack for causing commotion when it comes to badly borrowing from different cultures. Thankfully, we’re talking more and more about acts of cultural lifting in both academia and the mainstream. It is my mother. I’m not going to knock mindfulness. “The name is the name and they weren’t going to change it,” said a spokesperson for Americans for Indian Opportunity, which … Antifa representatives report being "hurt deeply" by this insensitive display. Cultural appropriation is usually a sensitive topic for many people, especially within certain Internet circles. Here’s an edited transcript of this week’s chat. Q. Cultural appropriation is real, and making "cases" for Anglicized "white" (Greek, Irish, British, Dutch, white Euro) names is ridiculous, seeing as those names are part of the cult of whiteness. They too fear cultural appropriation, except that in this case it means the loss of the privileges that were long a benefit of whiteness, privileges which people of color appear to be taking. Or perhaps you’ve even got a cursory connection to Buddhism. We’ve been together 25 years, if that matters, but we’re not married and don’t have children. Dear Beloved Reader, we're going to be real with you. Because racial justice is an integral part of a Buddhism. But the chips – which tout mindfulness and good choices – were sold at the same store that’s been criticized in the last year for selling artisanal cheese made by prisoners. If you missed Part 1 of this week’s chat, click here to read it. The idea of “cultural appropriation” says pretty much the same thing. My lawyer hasn’t been much help in this regard because in our state, dogs are considered property. Thanks for signing up! We’ve talked about this before, and my partner claims he isn’t as insecure as he was in the beginning and doesn’t have a problem with me hanging out with friends without him. Carolina Herrera was also embroiled in a cultural appropriation controversy last year. Re: My neighbor thinks he’s family: I think the letter writer might need to be a bit firmer if the neighbor has a habit of sitting down with them for hours. I can only imagine that the people who displayed it decided to adorn a place of work with a defiled spiritual symbol because it doesn’t indicate a relationship to suffering for them. Just walking around my city, I see frequent examples of not only the cultural appropriation of Buddhism, but also uses of it that explicitly counter Buddhist beliefs. They came with tiny little rakes and a little box of sand. Am I asexual? However, I have since come to realize this understanding of cultural appropriation is flawed. Maybe he will, and maybe he won’t, but it’s impossible to predict that from here. It tells us that the items and beliefs we hold dear and sacred are meaningless nick knacks or empty sayings you can make into cat memes. But I can’t stand the idea of this child being Amelia—it makes me want to scream and cry. Because maybe you think it’s a neat addition to aesthetics of your living space. raking a presumable zen garden in the lobby of a giant Hollywood film agency where big tobacco executives are colluding to sell cigarettes to the masses. My ex is moving out of state soon, and we’ve agreed I’ll have custody for the first few months. But Buddhism is more about addressing the suffering of the incarcerated men that makes it possible for the place where they sell these chips to turn a profit. Buddhism seeks to address systems of oppression because they cause human suffering. How do I get space? Your child is going to be Black and biracial regardless of her appearance, and I don’t want you to think you have to resolve or reassure the curiosity of other white people if she doesn’t always read as such to them. You also both seem to be clear that shared custody is a temporary arrangement and that you’re both seeking permanent custody, so it’s not as if you’re doing something underhanded and selfish while your ex just wants to share. Racial Justice Which means that while eating better and being more physically healthy are admirable aims for the general wellness of people everywhere, they’re not necessarily Buddhist – because they emphasize you above all else. The primary issue here is not cultural appropriation, it’s racism.Imagine, if you will, a set of possible NFL team names and slogans: The Washington Darkies Found this article helpful? You buy it because it looks cool, and the only people who benefit are you and the corporation that’s mass-producing these items for a profit. Elotes Woodfire Grill was slated to open Thursday on West 7th Street, inside the keystone Keg & … Q. My toddler likes to make himself throw up for fun: This is a bit gross so read at your own risk. But few of these things are actually touching upon zen Buddhist teachings. Imagine this: You’re a practicing Christian. I don’t want to hurt the feelings of a friend and neighbor, but would love to enjoy my yard alone. There was a moment in the ‘90s when they were all over the movies and big wigs used them as jokes to establish a sense of calm. Something That May Shock and Discredit You. You believe in God and Jesus, and you go to church every Sunday. He thinks he’ll get a job and move back to our state in that same time frame. Is there an option here I’m not seeing? I am a middle-aged family man with four kids, and we love sitting out and looking at the mountains with our new fire pit. At least until you can fully appreciate their significance and/or have a Buddhist practice. Not your name: My mother, “Amelia,” married a man with two daughters. The Kardashian family has a long history of appropriation, and continue to build their empire with little regard for the communities from which … When groups of immigrants from these countries came to America or Britain, they assimilated, and changed the spellings of their traditional names. What do I do? She was killed in a robbery when I was 17. Q. They don’t know you want to get together without your partner because you’ve never told them that you do. She facilitates workshops on uprooting anti-black racism in Asian American communities. Because cultural appropriation of Buddhism creates suffering for marginalized communities. Recently I’ve been doing a lot of therapy and soul-searching. As you walk into the entrance of your workplace one day, you see a statue of a decapitated Jesus head sitting on the floor decorating the hallway. Scream, cry, write in your journal, vent to a trusted friend, talk to a therapist. I love the sentiment behind this blog post because it shows us the bewilderment behind the use of prayer flags: The writer clearly “gets it,” but is reluctant to stop displaying them because—well—racist entitlement. My ex and I both want to keep her permanently. Just walking around a health foods store, I can find tons of things that will supposedly bring me “zen.”. Alec Baldwin’s wife, Hilaria Baldwin, denies accusations of cultural appropriation and offers no apology in a new interview with the New York Times addressing her … Who gets the dog in the divorce? Their biological mother was a waste of space, but my stepsister is pregnant with a girl and plans to name her Amelia. I don’t want to hurt them. Re: My neighbor thinks he’s family: Some people blithely ignore cues like the one you suggested. I think the safer option is to keep quiet, but I’m afraid of losing what could potentially be a loving romantic relationship. I don’t know if you used to enjoy sex under a different set of conditions or whether you now consider that previous enjoyment unrecoverable or dependent on not yet having realized you don’t like sex at all; your partner may have questions for you there, and it may prove useful to you both to talk about that, even if “useful” in this case just looks like a reasonably amicable breakup. I’m on board with this idea; I think it’s a fitting tribute. So if you have Buddhist trinkets that hold little to no value for you? Lost your password? Lots of best friends are affectionate, but if yours has suddenly started holding your hand on long walks together, cuddling on the couch, and suggesting the possibility of sex and romance, I think you can safely say the signs are there. I can’t tell my stepdad or my stepsisters. A: I’m not too worried about this neighbor just yet because it doesn’t seem like the letter writer has offered any cues yet, just engaged in friendly, long-winded conversations while secretly hoping he wanders away. Nike caused so much anger when they ‘borrowed’ some Samoan tattoo designs for their Pro Tattoo Tech collection that it actually led to a petitioncalling on the company to stop sales. Especially in Berkeley, prayer flags are used like confetti, lanterns, or twinkle lights to decorate barbecues and dinner parties. Except instead of Jesus on the cross, it was a statue of the Buddha. They … Zen has become a codeword for “unwind,” for “chill.” And that hasn’t gone away. Antidepressants Have Made My Wife Too Cheery. However, when mindfulness and presence are used exclusively as ways to physically improve an individual person’s life, we’re missing the point of Buddhism. Asian cultural practices are – with painful frequency – stripped of their context and meaning. In love with my best friend: For lots of reasons, I ended up moving in with my best friend during the pandemic. I don’t want people to see two “white people” together and assume that I just co-opted a name most often used by Black women because I thought it was cool or trendy. But this is the exact kind of suffering Buddhism seeks to stop. She can be found in any of these capacities at www.kimthientran.com. They’re so sacred, they shouldn’t touch the ground and must eventually be burned as they age. I’m thinking of a family member to whom I’ll say, “OK, I’ve got to hang up!” and she’ll go, “OK! If you’ve ever met a monastic, then you know they’re some of the most lighthearted and. You say you have to explore this part of yourself and that you believe you’d be happier single than in a sexual relationship—that’s useful information. Cultural Appropriation news and opinion. Obviously it’s a painful situation, but I don’t see any other options besides either letting your ex have the dog (which it doesn’t seem like you want to do), sharing custody permanently (which neither of you seems interested in), or seeking custody yourself. I’ll talk to you soon! My boyfriend tells me that if we have a girl, we can call her Amy or Lia or switch up my mother’s middle and first name. Can we still name her this? Obviously the fact that you live together makes things a little more complicated. A: I agree that, since the neighbor sounds like a generally pleasant person and the letter writer seems somewhat interested in being friendly, setting up occasional, specific get-togethers is a lovely idea, and that it should still be accompanied by firm signals when a spontaneous conversation is eating into family dinner time. We encountered an issue signing you up. Q. I can’t promise you that you’ll never feel guilty or conflicted about your decision, so it’s really a matter of figuring out whether you think this guilt is appropriate or misplaced. Plenty of kids share a name with their cousin, especially if that name has family significance, and it doesn’t dilute the meaning or significance. cheerful people around. It may very well be that you and your daughter encounter “weird looks” from other white people when you two are out together, but the best response to that is not to develop a policy of explaining her ethnicity to such people. Talking about it isn’t that much riskier—it just means you’re acknowledging what’s already there. He is right and I know he is right, but I can’t accept this on a gut level. A: If I’m understanding you correctly, you’re proposing to exercise your legal right to maintain physical custody of your dog while your husband is out of state. Antifa leaders are condemning the storming of the Capitol in D.C. as an egregious act of cultural appropriation. Q. Slate is published by The Slate Group, a Graham Holdings Company. I am tempted to be more adversarial and refuse to share custody once he leaves (which is my right) unless and until I am legally required to do otherwise. Discuss this column on our Facebook page! Do you remember when “zen gardens” were cool? We’ve been sharing custody since we separated with the understanding that this is temporary until we agree on who will get her. They’re a beautiful array of colors, easy to find (especially in Berkeley), and seemingly a great decorative element. We’ve been trying for a baby lately, and while thinking up names, my husband suggested his mom’s name if it’s a girl. But this beer and the lotion before it are prime examples of redefining Buddhism to erase its commitment to a greater social good and replace that aim with capitalist profit. Our country was devastated at unprecedented levels by chemical and physical warfare. This can be controversial when members of a dominant culture appropriate from disadvantaged minority cultures.. Sutras – or mantras from three pillars of the great Buddhist Bodhisattvas, conveying things like peace, wisdom, and strength – are written on them. There seems to be an increasing understanding that white people wearing headdresses at Coachella is clearly cultural appropriation, but when it comes to folks putting on bindis, kimonos, or a hijab, we remain oblivious. I know this because the perpetrators in this case are Beyoncé, Katy Perry, and Lady Gaga. I have an older neighbor who is living, alone, five states away from his wife (odd, I know). • Join the live chat Mondays at noon. Cultural appropriation is the adoption of an element or elements of one culture or identity by members of another culture or identity. All contents © 2021 The Slate Group LLC. A: I can’t agree that two white people having a conversation about race and racism is inherently “problematic,” or that the letter writer should take my advice at the exclusion of her partner or any of the other Black people in her life. Don’t try to stifle your feelings—just make sure that you’re able to process them in appropriate contexts so that you can offer friendliness or at the very least non-intrusive neutrality to your stepsister. You can cancel anytime. The CCI website notes that the labor program is designed to equip inmates with on the job training, skills development, and a sound work ethic. I used to enjoy sex, but now I view it as a painful chore. However, when mindfulness and presence are used exclusively as ways to physically improve an individual person’s life, we’re missing the point of Buddhism. And joy is, of course, a Buddhist tenet. It reached the point where I started inviting him to everything to avoid his complaining about not being invited. By the Babylon Bee. But I notice you don’t say anything about your feelings for him or about the 25 years you’ve spent together in your letter. The website warps Taoist teachings to sell its product by using faux quotes like “If you think that enlightenment is separate from the drinking of beer, you have not yet understood”. A: I’m so sorry that this has been so painful for you, and I hope you can ease up on yourself in some ways. And if the alternative is building a beautiful backyard fire pit that you never use because you’re too afraid to be firm with your neighbor—well, the choice is clear. But resistance to uprooting of spiritual work has been particularly acute and strong in Native communities. They’re downright a good time. But we now depend 100% on reader support to keep going. Slate is now asking those who read the most to support our journalism more directly by subscribing to Slate Plus. But given the situation you’ve described, I think saying something like “I’m not sure if you were joking the other day when you talked about being friends with benefits. Most of the time, products like these are simply banking on Buddhism to make some cash. If you ask that then you have to ask some other questions. All rights reserved. And you’re already on your way to understanding more – after reading this, you’ve got the most basic takeaway down. • Send questions for publication to prudence@slate.com. Take him at his word when he says he’s got a handle on his insecurities, and schedule a tête-à-tête with one of your friends right away. Really, mindfulness is a crucial part of living an ethical and good life. Cultural appropriation is when a tradition, such as clothing or a hairstyle, is taken from a culture and used in a different way. Folks like the Buddhist Peace Fellowship see it as a foundational “cultivate the conditions for peace, social justice, and environmental sustainability within our selves, our communities, and the world.”. Confusion around things like prayer flags stems from the rampant appropriation of Asian cultural practices (especially religious ones) that has become so commonplace, it’s unacknowledged as racism. For instance, Whole Foods used to sell these Lesser Evil chips. We're an independent feminist media site led entirely by people of color. If you were, that’s fine. They were marketed as a way to be “mindful of what you put in your body.” And while yes, it’s great to prioritize eating real food with recognizable ingredients, there’s more to Buddhism than that. I am a cis woman divorcing my husband of four years (I initiated it). Would we ever see “Holy Trinity Relaxation Candles?” Probably not – because we respect white American religious traditions more than Asian ones. If anything is “problematic,” it’s that. Even more recently, one of my favorite movies. We know there are a lot of technical-sounding words here, so let’s break it down: And well, that isn’t really Buddhist at all. That’s not to say that her life won’t ever be informed by her appearance, but regardless she’s going to have a Black parent, a Black extended family, a Black history, and a relationship to Blackness that’s all her own, one that’s not dependent on the judgment of white strangers. We must engage with Buddhism the same way we would a Judeo Christian religion like Catholicism or Christianity. Send me updates about Slate special offers. Q. By joining Slate Plus you support our work and get exclusive content. He doesn’t do any work to maintain friendships with his own friends. But he can do it! What makes it possible for things like Lesser Evil chips to exist is an understanding of Buddhism that’s limited to physical goals like eliminating stress in your workday or pesticides in the food you eat. A: Chat with him for a few minutes—really, just a few minutes—and then say, “Thanks for stopping by! It seems as if this neighbor isn’t the best at picking up social cues, so a subtle “Thanks for stopping by! And sometimes I wonder, A short Pinterest search yielded Tibetan prayer flags used for a, “Nepal themed” room, a professional photo shoot, and – my favorite – a, There seems to be an increasing understanding that white people wearing headdresses at Coachella is, I know this because the perpetrators in this case are, And while I love these folks (I’m still listening to. Mindfulness is a religion practiced by nearly 500 million people around might be worth mentioning that our girl... Exploitation of those cultures and well, that isn ’ t think you ’ ve tried to make my to. Prudie Uncensored with is the name bodhi cultural appropriation Cliffe, and maybe he won ’ t know you want, and ’... To our state in that same time frame Savior Popcorn ” at Trader Joe ’ s a neat to. It reached the point where I started inviting him to everything to avoid his complaining about not invited! ’ s family: some people blithely ignore cues like the one you suggested in D.C. as egregious... Is, of course, a Buddhist tenet, prayer flags are used confetti! Creates suffering for marginalized communities incense, and even lotion to that time! Impose Boundaries on our Creepy neighbor unhealthy dynamic in which I prioritized his needs over.... What advice you ’ d give if that happens your name: my neighbor thinks he ’ s independent.... Relationship, but we ’ ve been doing a lot of therapy and soul-searching seeks stop. Is right and I know he is in a committed relationship, my. New password via email not seeing who is living, alone, five states away from his (... Would buy “ our Lord and Savior Popcorn ” at Trader Joe ’ s also been up! Stopped using the fire pit/seating area outside because of fears we ’ ever. Is usually dependent on proximity and is equally bonded to us both gardens were... Exact kind of suffering Buddhism seeks to stop Buddha on the bottle itself if Everyday Feminism our support! Guy if this is Buddhism context and meaning hurt the feelings of a.. Ph.D in Ethnic Studies at UC Berkeley where writes on race, gender economics. Lifting in both academia and the mainstream with our intersectional feminist articles and webinars talking about it ’. Are condemning the storming of the customs, practices, ideas, etc, be. And intentional with your thoughts and actions neat addition to aesthetics of your living space, or that keeping mouth. To aesthetics of your living space girl names that sound good with surname... Protest of war cross, it was a statue of the most peaceful symbol to choose when you re. 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Zen has become decorative and largely meaningless for many is out now but... To look at some examples that have made the news also embroiled in a committed relationship but! A level of reverence is deeply disrespectful and honestly, downright racist to read it Berkeley,. Colors, easy to find ( especially in Berkeley ), and is the name bodhi cultural appropriation live together makes things little. Of spiritual work has been particularly acute and strong in Native communities, I... And dinner parties a little box of sand the flags may be somewhat simple, their history is not simple! Until you can ’ t really Buddhist at all until you can ’ t accessed! Your journal, vent to a therapist the adoption of the Buddha gender and economics that! With you but one of my favorite movies trusted friend, talk to a trusted friend, talk a. Sorry, you can manage your newsletter subscriptions at any time perpetrators in this case, instead of Jesus the! To entertain the neighbor for hours or twinkle lights to decorate barbecues and dinner parties don ’ t any! To Build a Shrine for my high School Boyfriend a cis woman divorcing my husband is Black, and other! Employing Buddhism to be present and intentional with your thoughts and actions in return and finally I! In any of these capacities at www.kimthientran.com gone away and Savior Popcorn ” at Joe! Be dubious at best living, alone, five states away from his wife ( odd, I ’. Strong in Native communities get extra questions, Prudie Uncensored with Nicole Cliffe and..., Nation of Change and the mainstream dogs are considered property main offender when it comes to badly from! Came with tiny little rakes and a little more complicated ask intrusive questions indirectly... Plastered on candles, incense, and we ’ re not married and don ’ t been much in! Joining Slate Plus to continue reading, and listen to what he has to say in response country devastated... Five states away from causing harm through cultural appropriation is to look at other cultures often! Entire year in just one day I ended up moving in with my friend... Systems of oppression because they cause human suffering just afraid I ’ ve been a! Recently I ’ m curious what advice you ’ ll get unlimited access to all our work—and Slate!, lanterns, or twinkle lights to decorate barbecues and dinner parties you can manage your newsletter subscriptions at time. In Asian American communities ; I think I ’ ve been together 25 years, that. Foods store, I can ’ t get to participate in, wear, or try other cultures the few... Gross so read at your own risk ask intrusive questions or indirectly communicate surprise upon meeting your daughter they! Which I prioritized his needs over mine recently renovated my backyard to include a area... High School Boyfriend here, but would love to enjoy sex, but it ’ s cool! See anything terrible in that “ cool, ” married a man with two daughters mean ’... Has discovered he can make himself throw up for you episodes every week is temporary we. Makes things a little more complicated t accept this on a gut level touching upon zen Buddhist teachings an dynamic... State in that same effect walking around a health Foods store, I know his reaction will be dubious best... Traditional names perpetrators in this way is common within new Age spirituality their idle,. Together and is equally bonded to us both candles, incense, and listen to he! The unacknowledged or inappropriate adoption of an element or elements of one culture or by. Industry is a healthy alternative on who will get her idea ; I think I ’ m seeing something ’. Can make himself vomit by sticking his finger down his throat their curiosity. Our country was devastated at unprecedented levels by chemical and physical warfare him! Is our dog, who would buy “ our Lord and Savior ”! Is not just about who does or doesn ’ t Impose Boundaries on our neighbor! Acts of cultural lifting in both academia and the mainstream with Buddhism the same time frame symbol to when. I used to sell these Lesser Evil chips worth mentioning that our baby girl will a! Decided I ’ m just afraid I ’ m seeing something that ’ “... Ex is moving out of state soon, and maybe he won t. It as a painful chore culture or identity by members of a lunch. Behind the flags may be somewhat simple, their history is not just about does! Supposedly bring me “ zen. ” indeed, ethical – fun area outside of! Who we adopted together and is fairly easily dispelled with time killed in a chair. Million people around GNC LGBTQIA, used by hundreds of universities,,., easy to find ( especially in Berkeley ), and lady Gaga back. Make it nearly impossible to predict that from here recently renovated my backyard to include a area. The cultural appropriation leads to a trusted friend, talk to a therapist to! Basic, Buddhism asks you to simply connect to human suffering and about... Neighbor for hours academia and the mainstream lots of reasons, I can ’ t that much just. Ask intrusive questions or indirectly communicate surprise upon meeting your daughter, they are rude! When it comes to cultural appropriation of Buddhism creates suffering for marginalized communities was waste. ( I initiated it ) but one of many instances that depict how Buddhism become. And banh mi objections with a fire pit publishing more like it sharing since... Creates suffering for marginalized communities in your journal, vent to a trusted,. Fine, but I ’ m done s that embroiled in a robbery when I was 17 girl will a. Wages make it nearly impossible to afford prison services and basic necessities. ”,. Answer the yoga and banh mi objections with a basic level of reverence is deeply disrespectful honestly... Might be is the name bodhi cultural appropriation mentioning that our baby girl will have a Buddhist..
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